I’m officially depressed. Being broke, unemployed, and in debt will do that to you, but now I believe that I’ve been depressed for a very long time, and I’ve been self-medicating in a less than healthy manner, rather than following a strict regimen of therapy and carefully tuned pharmaceuticals.
Consider this: Buying more than you really need because it’s on sale is an “over-the-counter treatment” for depression. Not the real thing.
Now I suppose there are more healthy treatments too: Long walks, bicycling, exercise. Pets. People. But they better be the right people. If they’re depressed as well, not such a healthy treatment. Unless they also acknowledge their depression too.
I have appointments to keep as an outpatient. So future entries will reflect that process of discovery and recovery. This will be a long and difficult road. Eventually I hope I will be joined on this road.
---
Wednesday, January 17, 2007
Wednesday, December 20, 2006
Did Bush finally say the L(ose)-word?
Just a short shot: Who remembers how Arthur Fonzarelli couldn’t say the word “Sorry”?
Sidebar Number One
As Bob Saget said, “just for shiggles”, this is a sidebar, a non-sequitur to the ongoing stream of consciousness. Did you know Steven Spielberg misquoted lyrics? It’s not “like a boat out of the blue”, it’s “like a bolt out of the blue”. Who knew? I always thought it was boat myself. (You clicked the links, right?)
My seven-month old daughter is in a good mood this morning, the sun is out (high barometric pressure always is good for the spirit), and she’s had some warm applesauce-oatmeal. Does this mean the ad(s) at the bottom will include boats and oatmeal and apples? But the point is that it strikes me as odd that such a well-known song can be mis-remembered, like random keywords mucking up a blog, perhaps.
ecs
Update: here’s a link to my pro blog.
My seven-month old daughter is in a good mood this morning, the sun is out (high barometric pressure always is good for the spirit), and she’s had some warm applesauce-oatmeal. Does this mean the ad(s) at the bottom will include boats and oatmeal and apples? But the point is that it strikes me as odd that such a well-known song can be mis-remembered, like random keywords mucking up a blog, perhaps.
ecs
Update: here’s a link to my pro blog.
Ouch, AdSense at the bottom
Look, you never know how many folks will read what you write. Like I said, therapy that attracts a lot of eyeballs is valuable. Imagine if there were ads in the middle of Harry Potter.
ttfn ---ecs
P.S. The sun is shining on what I’m doing here, so I consider it a good sign.
ttfn ---ecs
P.S. The sun is shining on what I’m doing here, so I consider it a good sign.
How Death changes things
Writing this is just therapy for me, I suppose. If it gets read a lot it’ll be employment because it attracts eyeballs, and they’re worth money. Anyway...
So who else has lost their job or had to move because (respectively) the big boss or the landlord died? In the latter case my wife reports that when the ownership of an apartment she rented changed hands, her rent was hiked and she had to move. You know, there’s something you can do to prevent change from happening (where you don’t want it to) after you’ve, oh, um, left the premises (without a forwarding address). It’s called a will.
My grandmother died without leaving one, so it’s really anyone’s guess what would have been the best thing to do with what she left behind at the time she departed. One can only see so far into the future when making life-altering decisions, and even though hindsight is twenty-twenty, you can only act based on what you know how to do, that is, within your character desription at any specific moment.
Suppose you’ve never invested in stock, and then you suddenly come into control of enough money to do so with reasonable security, but since the idea is foreign to your past experience, you pass up the opportunity. Three years pass and you see that it would have been a great move if you’d only thought of it, and you’d now be in much better control of your life. There seems to be a paradox at work here that says:
Hindsight may be twenty-twenty, but it’s color-blind.
By this I mean that, if you are able to look back at your life realizing there are life-actions that you have yet to experience or learn to do yourself, better to learn them as soon as possible in some way before you might actually need to do it.
Zen is, I understand, a way of living out the Boy Scout motto: “Be Prepared”. I was actually a Boy Scout, but apparently the motto didn’t sink in right. Better the motto should be: “Know How You’re Not Prepared, Then Get Prepared.” You get the idea.
By the way, anybody find my compass? Seems I’ve needed it for the past fourteen years.
(enough for now, must check on the baby)
So who else has lost their job or had to move because (respectively) the big boss or the landlord died? In the latter case my wife reports that when the ownership of an apartment she rented changed hands, her rent was hiked and she had to move. You know, there’s something you can do to prevent change from happening (where you don’t want it to) after you’ve, oh, um, left the premises (without a forwarding address). It’s called a will.
My grandmother died without leaving one, so it’s really anyone’s guess what would have been the best thing to do with what she left behind at the time she departed. One can only see so far into the future when making life-altering decisions, and even though hindsight is twenty-twenty, you can only act based on what you know how to do, that is, within your character desription at any specific moment.
Suppose you’ve never invested in stock, and then you suddenly come into control of enough money to do so with reasonable security, but since the idea is foreign to your past experience, you pass up the opportunity. Three years pass and you see that it would have been a great move if you’d only thought of it, and you’d now be in much better control of your life. There seems to be a paradox at work here that says:
Hindsight may be twenty-twenty, but it’s color-blind.
By this I mean that, if you are able to look back at your life realizing there are life-actions that you have yet to experience or learn to do yourself, better to learn them as soon as possible in some way before you might actually need to do it.
Zen is, I understand, a way of living out the Boy Scout motto: “Be Prepared”. I was actually a Boy Scout, but apparently the motto didn’t sink in right. Better the motto should be: “Know How You’re Not Prepared, Then Get Prepared.” You get the idea.
By the way, anybody find my compass? Seems I’ve needed it for the past fourteen years.
(enough for now, must check on the baby)
How long will this post get? Not very.
This will be the first of a string of posts where I just get it all out in the open, and feel better about it. So while this digital paper will likely never run out, the work I write will have to stay in humane, bite-size chunks.
Next paragraph. Good, I’m getting the hang of this. It seems that the biblical concept of seven years of plenty followed by the opposite has applied to my life recently, and I was not aware it was happening. In 1992 the political party I favor in the US gained power, and I got decent employment. Beginning in 1999 things started moving in the opposite direction. You can find relevant info here and here. If you’ve accessed the links in the previous sentence, you’ll have gotten a peek at my resume, and that’s a help. More details about my first big big boss can be found here (if you want to spend a few dollars reading juicy gossip). For a possibly tongue-in-cheek look at my other recent big boss, look here.
Now for what to make of this . . . (next post, please)
Next paragraph. Good, I’m getting the hang of this. It seems that the biblical concept of seven years of plenty followed by the opposite has applied to my life recently, and I was not aware it was happening. In 1992 the political party I favor in the US gained power, and I got decent employment. Beginning in 1999 things started moving in the opposite direction. You can find relevant info here and here. If you’ve accessed the links in the previous sentence, you’ll have gotten a peek at my resume, and that’s a help. More details about my first big big boss can be found here (if you want to spend a few dollars reading juicy gossip). For a possibly tongue-in-cheek look at my other recent big boss, look here.
Now for what to make of this . . . (next post, please)
This Is My Story, This Is My Song
This is a companion personal blog to my professional blog at Opus One. So here I'll write about myself and my situation and observations about the world I’m in the middle of.
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